5.12.2005

the power of one...finger

So X. and I are taking a walk around the lake the other morning, and a Hummer H2 drives by on the adjacent road. Per our habit, we both flip the vehicle the bird as it passes, as inspired by the brilliant website, FUH2. [see submission (not page) #160]

Shortly thereafter, the driver of the vehicle has turned around and come back, window rolled down, and starts yelling at us, saying something like, "You can't just flip people off like that."

Then X. says something like, "That thing you're driving is a rolling insult to everyone."

At this point he calls X. a series of meaningless invectives (demonstrating his "respect" for the principle of not just insulting someone) and punctuates it with a "liberal treehugger". Hearing this phrase snaps me out of my out-of-body experience, because I realize how dumb -- how brainwashed -- how unoriginal -- he is.

Then I see X. running and I'm wondering why X. is running funny. Turns out X. is actually prancing and saying, " I'm going to go hug a tree! I'm hugging a tree! Oooh!". And X. starts giving the nearest tree a hug. Then we both laugh hard at the Hummer idiot and keep walking. A passer-by who has just seen and heard everything gives a furtive, crooked smile.

One would think this would be the end of it, but instead the H2 guy turns around again and drives towards the walking path, almost coming onto the path aiming at us.

Then he drives on and comes back a third time and seems to drive off.

But no.

He then shows up ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE, which takes a bit of driving to get to. He's there driving back and forth on that access road, and then not finding us, seems to take off.

Instead, as we make it into our neighborhood, we see that he has driven all the way around and found his way in there (again, note that there is no direct way to do this). He then drives down every street in the neighborhood looking for us. I bet he thought he could "win" by threatening us at our home.

We then ducked into our house and called the cops on the psycho.

(adapted from X)

* * * * *
Afterword

Note, we flip off the vehicles. We actually don't care who specifically is driving the 6,500-lb. beasts. H2 guy was also not directly in front of us when we gave the finger, so he must have looked back in his rearview mirror out of paranoia.

It was amazing to see how personally he took the whole thing. After our initial flip, we never used a curse word or another finger at him. Again, we were flipping off his vehicle, not him.

H2 Guy also had all the opportunity in the world to step out of his "car", but he never did. Was he intimidated by the size of the liberal treehugger? Or was he just afraid of walking like a man? Ouch!